day 9: work work fashion baby

With Christmas just a turn away, I had to leave my cocoon and go Christmas shopping. Even though I still look like I'm partaking in a never ending round of Chubby Bunny.

WHAT'S UP, YELLOW NECK?
(i didn't actually go out with the sunglasses.
i know i'm not a superstar :D)

So I graced Orchard Road with my high fashion ensemble. The pièce de résistance? Why my purple surgical face mask, of course! My attempt to shield the world from my face and vice versa totally kind of backfired though. I ended up being short of breath from the combination of all that walking after a week of total inactivity and breathing behind my face mask. I was so grouchy at the end of the day that I bought a cup of mashed potatoes and strawberry cheesecake ben & jerry's ice cream from 7/11 before I made my way home. You know, as a treat.

Really though, cheap mashed potatoes are the bomb. You know how fancy mashed potatoes have all those delicious chunky bits of potato and butter and bacon bits or whatever? Yeah well we can't have any of that good stuff right now so cheap, watery mashed potatoes are just the easiest to ingest. And they're yummy!!! To me at least since I'm not much of a food connoisseur.

I went out again yesterday sans face mask and it wasn't half bad! I could breathe properly for one. I did consciously try to avoid looking into mirrors because I'm still not used to my face just yet :\

Observations from Day 9:

• Pain: I really don't feel very much pain per se anymore except for the constant tightness in my (excuse this) snout area. Heh. But really the most of the soreness and tightness is concentrated in the middle of my face like my nose, the cheek area flanking my nose and my philtrum. Phillltrum. I finally googled the proper medical term for 'area above lip'. Philtrum. Learn something new every day don't we? :D
  
  I am feeling a bit of discomfort in my bottom right canine (way to be precise) because of the positions of my rubberbands and how they pull but I'm pretty sure I can deal with it. Cha.
  
  
• Numbness: I think I've been really lucky with this whole numbness thing. I've read stories from other jawsurg patients that have felt numbness even after a year post-op. But I think I've regained almost 100% of the feeling in my face! The chin area was set to be the most challenging but I can feel my entire chin no problem, though it's extra delicate now. I have a delicate chin. G that sounds so prissy. But I feel pretty blessed in this respect. My nose, cheeks and lips are definitely very tingly (As my doctor puts it - "it's like getting pins and needles right?") but I can feel them I can feel them. Scratching itches on my face still feels awfully unsatisfactory though.
  
  
• Swelling: Still chubs kebubs. Slowly but surely deflating every day!
  
  
• Food: I've moved on to mush! The liquid to mush transation happened so much faster than I thought it would (I mean, seriously? I'm only 9 days post-op! WOOO!!!) and I'm seriously super grateful for it. I've been eating blended porridge and mashed potatoes for pretty much every meal. Like I mentioned previously, my surgeons gave the okay for mushy log cake (YAY! Never thought I'd yay that, but YAY!) and pretty much whatever I can mush up without having to use too much strength from my teeth.
  
  SAY WHUURRT? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS MY SIEGE!!! Let's see what I can come up with during this cruel holiday season filled with food. Yum.
  
  (Side note: I still look like a total trainwreck when I eat. Food. EVERYWHERE.)
  

I just got back from my post-op daily visit with my surgeons, and next see them a week from today. I can't wait to hit the double digits in post-op days starting tomorrow. Off I go to brainstorm to see what delish holiday food I can mash up......

day 5: go.. lakers?

I just had a rather unpleasant experience with my antibiotics.

I'm still drinking liquids through the feeding syringes even though my doctors gave the okay for spoonfeeding simply because it's a heck of a lot faster for me to eat using the syringes. I tried using a spoon but I just dribbled most of it down my shirt and/or back into the bowl. Charming, I know.

I pound my daily antibiotics into a paste liquid type thing and then drink it through the feeding syringe. Ew even typing it makes my gag reflex twitch. So today my gag reflex decided to be angry and mean and active during meds feeding time which was.. Unpleasant. To say the least. 15 more days of antibiotics! I can do this!! I'm totally taking a shockingly low amount of meds as it is so I should really stop complaining. Man it tastes so bad though

Sleeping is still.. A work in progress. I finally realized that I don't quite have to sleep at a 90d angle which helps but my neck, back, and shoulders still aren't having any of this sleep at an angle nonsense. I honestly think it's because my head has ballooned to epic proportions and my body can't deal with how freaking heavy it is. I slept 2 3-hour stretches last night, which is a mini triumph in my book! I did wake up coughing a bunch of times though.. All that blood in my head kept coming up to make a scene.. Dangit.

Swelling/ Bruising wise.. Let's just say I am still the spitting image of Professor Klump. And the bruising around the right side of my face, my neck and my chest has actually gotten worse! My nanny says it's dispersing so that means I'm getting better. I'm hoping that's how it is too.. Because I legit look like I got beat up real baaaaaad. I've read that a lot of jawsurg patients have their swelling peak around day 3-4 and afterward it starts to go down but I am still terribly terribly swollen and I'm showing no signs of slowing down. Oh face, swollen doesn't look good on you.

all yellow and purple
go lakers?

好辛苦喔。。。

apples are not oranges

Excuse the word vomit but in this time that I'm locked up at home, this seems to be the best outlet to vent about all things jaw surgery related.

Touching my face is such a strange thing now. I'm still swollen like you will not believe, and it feels like there are actually cushions between my face and my skin. Between my epidermis and my.. somethingelse dermis. Either way, it feels really, really, really spongy. I imagine if you were to take my face and wipe your kitchen counter now, I would totally do a spiffy job. As painful as that sounds.

The swelling is the worst in the area around my nose. Mainly my cheeks and HOLY MOLY ABOVE MY LIP. That area has swollen to massive proportions. I honestly think there is a bolster in hiding up there. My ears also feel kind of blocked, almost? And my chin/ jaw area is pretty angry and swollen too. And Santa we don't need Rudolph anymore 'kay, we have me.

Okay so what I'm saying is that my whole face is pretty dang swollen. Except for my forehead cos' my forehead's doing pretty good. Sensation wise, I can feel those areas? It just feels.. Slightly desensitized. Like I would most certainly know if there was water dribbling down my face, but the feeling isn't as acute as it used to be. Hmm.

I'm still feeling a large amount of soreness and tightness but that is to be expected seeing that I'm only 3 days post op. I should stop being impatient and expecting deflation and pain reduction and improvement in numbness all at once.

______________________

Is it weird that I don't actually even really know the exact procedures I had done? I should probably ask when I see my surgeons tomorrow....

day 3: chicken essence coming out of my ears

3 days post-op

I'm home from my first post-op surgeon's appointment!

My surgeon instructed me to go see him every day for the next one week, which honestly works for me cos I wanna know how I'm doing too. You know, other than looking like Mr Nutty Professor himself.

He replaced my elastics with slightly looser ones, so my mouth can actually open a teeny weeny bit! Though that doesn't quite change my eating situation though.. Still on a purely liquid diet. I think I can only start on a soft diet in about a week or two. Baaah.

I've been sustaining myself on a diet of (all well-strained) chicken soup, porridge water and milo + oatmeal water. (My nanny is the bestestestestest.) I'm trying to get as much water intake as possible because (a) having a sore throat with my mouth banded up doesn't sound all too appealing to me (b) the nurses said sufficient water intake is extremely important to prevent fevers and all that jazzy wazz.

I woke up today with a bit of a backache and a bit of neck ache which wasn't very much fun. I definitely need to figure out a more comfortable way of sleeping propped up. I also woke up with a fair bit of tightness in my jaw, so I finally had to break out the painkillers. My surgeon only provided 1 packet with 6 inside, and I'm only to take 1 a day but I've promised myself I won't take any if I can help it though! So fingers crossed for making it through without painkillers! Yesssss!

PS. Vaseline Lip Therapy is totally my bff right now.

Some love ♥

THANK YOU COLLEAGUES/ GIRLFRIENDS

GPOY photos:

1) semblance of normalcy (I LOVE FACE MASKS)
2) s-w-o-l-l-e-n

sleepy me

I can't sleeeeeeeep.

I have something like 5 pillows, 1 big bolster, 1 mini bolster, 1 mini pillow and 1 neck pillow on my bed, waiting to aid my journey into dreamland but it hasn't been working terribly well. I can't seem to sleep for more than a 2hour stretch at a time because my neck and shoulders get so sore!

So now I'm using this extra 'awake time' to ice my face. At least that feels real nice even though I legit gave myself a fright when I looked into the mirror after I turned the lights on....

swelling is not swell

I am whatchamacall incredibly swollen.

I can't imagine that the swelling will only peak at around day 5. Can i possibly swell up any more?!!? I've still got 3 more days to balloon even further?! I'm swollen from right under my eyes alllllll the way down to my neck. Oh Lordy. I don't even know if my skin has that much give to accommodate more swelling.

I honestly feel that if you took a needle and poked my cheek, a lot of blood/ liquid/ gunk/ whatever is inhabiting my face would flow right out, making a mini gunk river around me. And oh another weird observation, the skin on my body seems to be getting kind of dry! I wonder if it has anything to do with the meds? Ok I'm just mindlessly babbling now I better stop before I delve into my dreams and aspirations and all that jazz.

Going to watch new episodes of my Korean drama serial all while using my fingers to explore the nerves on my big angry pancakey face.

2 days post op

2 days post-op

me right now

Except I'm not jumping, I'm not wearing a cheerleader's outfit and I'm not a Disney character. But she embodies what I feel inside because I'M HOME! AND I'M CLEAN!!!!! I can't remember the last time I've wanted to take a shower so badly in my life and to step under my showerhead and scrub away all the grime was such a welcome relief.

Washing my face was quite an experience though. Because I'm HUGE you guys. I'm HUGE. I'm not even exaggerating. My face has swollen to rather epic proportions. Pre-surgery I thought I'd hate it, but frankly it's kind of amusing me now. It looks like I have a fatsuit on! But I think the amusement won't last all that long before I become terribly frustrated. Every single part of my face and a bit of my neck (save for my forehead) has swelled up in a very... Unbecoming manner. Everything is numb and sensitive at the same time, if that even makes any sense.

Well I'm home, I've had lunch, I've drank my juice, I've taken my meds, I've rinsed with mouthwash (all liquid through a feeding syringe of course. phew)..... I think I can finally go to bed now. See you later, world.

grimy girl

So this is me 2 days post surgery! I'm all bandaged up and more swollen than pictured.. Yes I deviously turned the flash off so I wouldn't look as enormous.

I'm so very fidgety in my hospital bed but my surgeons will only have the time to check on me in the afternoon. So I'm trying to distract myself with breakfast (clear soup) and youtube.

PLEASE LET ME TAKE A BATH. I AM SO GRIMY I FEEL LIKE I JUST WENT CAMPING IN THE MOJAVE.

day 2: dirty, dirty day 2

Why Oh Why am I awake at 4AM?

Actually I know why. It's because I'm feeling the irresistible urge to go home and take a shower. I haven't been able to take a shower since 8AM on Dec 13th.. And I'm just feeling icky! See how I wouldn't make a good adventurer nor camper. Didn't even move around much in the room but right now I'm all itchy itchy scratchy scratchy up and down my backy wacky. Ugh, TMI, I know. And the itching only seems to get worse after I get antibiotics shot up (am I using that right?) my IV.

On that note, that's the only thing that's been causing any discomfort at all, albeit fleetingly. The nurses disconnected me from the drip yesterday since I was already able to start eating and drinking on my own. But they would come in once in awhile and inject some antibiotics into my IV. Not so much fun.

Felt pretty sore and a bit like an extended blood test. But hey, we survived surgery right? We shouldn't be ranting about small potatoes like this

I forgot to mention a minor episode that transpired yesterday!

I sat up for the first time post-op and immediately felt really dizzy. So I figured I'd try again later. And when I did, I was like "heyyy this isn't so bad!"..... Until I looked down at my gown and saw blood. Rather large amounts of blood.

Oops.

My nose.

Didn't hurt at all though! Just lots of residual blood fighting to escape I guess.

My jaws are of course completely immobile and banded together plus my face is still extremely, unattractively swollen. But as long as I'm not feeling any particular discomfort, I can deal with it. I just want to take a bath ASAP.............

day 1: i think i am still woozy

24 hours post-op

Reporting live from my ward in Mt Alvernia!

I wanted to blog sooner but truly my mind was willing and my body was weak.

Wait wait wait - Before I get started can I please document how much of a scatterbrain I am. Before surgery the attendants were like "Oh wisdom tooth extraction right?" I was like "Jaw surgery.. Right?" And they were like "Yes dear, both."

OH. I had no idea. I remember briefly talking to my surgeon about it in the beginning of the year but I clean forgot about it! Haha so in addition to moving both my upper and lower jaw, I got 2 wisdom teeth extracted too. All the more healing to do!

I think it's a general consensus that the first night won't be that bad! At least for me it was rather manageable. The docs said that the swelling will get progressively worse over the course of the week, but by the time the end of the week rolls around, I should be starting to deflate. Yay! Augustus Gloop no more! I think if I had really wanted to, I probably could've been released today but we decided to stay one more night just in case. Plus the nurses here are really patient and attentive. Don't we all love a little fawning once in awhile? :)

I'm really chipper aren't I? I think I'm just glad that the whole surgery aspect of my journey is over and done with. Recovery is another daunting process, but I'm glad to finally be on the other side of the fence now.

--

The last thing I remember in the OT was the anesthetist asking:

"Do you drink wine"
"Nope.. Not quite a drinker doc!"
"But do you enjoy the feeling after you drink some?"
"Ooh I do it's…….."

And then I was out. Like a light. WOW GENERAL ANESTHESIA YOU ARE AMAZING!!

Next thing I knew I was back in the ward. I could hear voices of my aunts and my doctors but I couldn't respond so I promptly went back to bed. I remember feebly waving at my Aunt who I knew had just touched down in Singapore and that's about it! And for some reason I remember my doctor saying, "Yes the swelling will get worse so don't be alarmed."

Oh well.

I woke up multiple times last night to 1) have the blood sucked out of my mouth 2) pee in a bedpan. They were both pretty wonderful processes seriously. It didn't hurt of course, and it sure felt nice to relieve my body of unnecessary liquid in my... Cavities. No throwing up nor any serious nausea though! Just a fair bit of coughing and phlegm. Of course I felt a little woozy when I sat up for the first time post-surgery, but that was to be expected.

Food wise, I've been having chicken soup/ ensure milk through a syringe. And water, of course. It is kind of a pain to eat (like troublesome, it doesn't hurt) because there's a process. Like food -> water -> mouthwash. But still so far so good.. Only about 3 meals down anyway. I still have the rest of the week! And there are quite a lot of antibiotics to take in the week to come.. Uggggh bitter medicine is bitter. No complaints though! I would just rather have a speedy and most importantly safe recovery.

Numbness/ Swelling wise, yup I'm pretty darn swollen. I've been joking that I look like Santa Clause - Just that instead of a white beard I have bandages galore. With regard to numbness, I think I feel fine? But I can't quite tell because of the copious amount of bandaging I have around me. It's bizarre though, like I'm touching my face through this film type thing. I'll continue to keep tabs on that and update here accordingly.

In other news, Ensure Milk doesn't taste half bad! Though I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune once I realize that that's all my diet will consist of for the next one week.......